FIFTY SHADES OF GREY

See it at the Movies

Joyce and Don Fowler
Posted 2/19/15

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(Boring soft porn)

I recently picked up a copy of E.L. James’ bestselling book at (believe it or not) a church yard sale. It didn’t take long to realize that she is one bad writer with …

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FIFTY SHADES OF GREY

See it at the Movies

Posted

* *

(Boring soft porn)

I recently picked up a copy of E.L. James’ bestselling book at (believe it or not) a church yard sale. It didn’t take long to realize that she is one bad writer with a gimmick that made her very rich.

Selling the rights to the movie version was inevitable. What Hollywood would do with it was the big question. The answer is that they watered it down to two soft-porn scenes, two sado-masochistic scenes, and lots of dull conversations in between.

I think I was the only male in the matinee audience...understandably so.

Jamie Dorman plays the dominant, controlling masochistic, intimidating, unsmiling Christian Grey, who casts a spell over the comely, shy, virgin college student, Anastasia Steele (Dakota Steele).

While Grey has seduced her from the beginning, it is a long, excruciating time into the movie before the clothes come off and poor, innocent Ms. Steele loses her virginity. And an even longer time before he introduces her to the pain of his playroom, filled with rows of whips, handcuffs and other frightening “toys.”

To stay within the boundaries of an R rating, we mostly see the two weirdos from the waist up, with occasional rear nudity shots.

The movie is the condensed version of the book, but at over two hours it is still too long. The audience suffers through Grey’s long seduction and control of his completely overwhelmed prey, trying to get her to sign a contract that gives him complete control.

It was a long two hours.

Rated R, with sex, nudity, perversion and some profanity.

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