Speaking with children in wake of the treats

Jeanne Sherman
Posted 10/16/14

Warwick, Johnston and Cranston have undergone a particularly difficult week or so, due to the terrible threats made against young students in those communities. It has been a traumatic event for the …

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Speaking with children in wake of the treats

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Warwick, Johnston and Cranston have undergone a particularly difficult week or so, due to the terrible threats made against young students in those communities. It has been a traumatic event for the youngsters, parents, teachers and other school staff, public safety professionals, community leaders and others.

As the Rhode Island area site for the National Child Traumatic Stress Network, Family Service of Rhode Island works across the state on trauma issues particularly relevant to parents with young and adolescent children, and teachers and others as well. We have posted at www.familyserviceri.org several tip sheets from the network and one from the National Association of School Psychologists that should be particularly helpful in speaking with children about the threats. I urge you to visit the site to download the information.

Some quick tips to bear in mind:

- You need to take care of yourself. Seek reassurance or strength from partners, friends, spiritual supports or counseling rather than from your children.

- Reassure children they are safe.

- Take time to talk. Be aware that they may want to discuss issues on their timetable, not yours. So continue to listen, even if you’re busy.

- Keep your discussions developmentally appropriate. Children at different ages have different needs. The tip sheet Talking to Children About Violence: Information for Parents and Educators available at www.familyserviceri.org gives more detailed guidance.

- Limit media exposure. It’s difficult to do, with the 24/7 news cycles and social media. The first step could be to turn off the television and radio when the news comes on.

Some tips particularly geared to educators:

- Have patience with minor behavior problems. Stay calm.

- Listen more than ever and realize that different students will react differently.

- Engage in positive activities and normal routines.

- Take steps to help students and their families to seek professional help if you become concerned that a student may engage in dangerous behavior.

Anyone, adult or child, feeling unusually frightened or sad or with other issues getting in the way of normal life should seek professional help. Trauma can have effects long after the cause has disappeared. If we can be of service, please call us weekdays at 519-2280, or contact another mental health provider.

Above all: take any trauma you experience seriously, whether from community threats, personal loss such as a death or an accident, or a similar event and seek help if needed. There are many caring professionals who can support you and provide therapy and guidance. You, and your children or students, are not alone.

Jeanne Sherman, LMHC, is a Warwick resident and a clinical supervisor at Family Service of Rhode Island.

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