*

(As bad as it gets)

Vin Diesel gives his worst performance ever (and there have been some bad ones) in one of the worst films ever made.

A confusing, violent, indistinguishable scene before the credits shows our bald hero with a scraggly beard and head of hair, hunting witches in a dark forest circa 1200 AD. He kills her and she puts a curse on him. He will spend eternity hunting witches.

After the credits, our bald hero is on an airplane controlling a bad storm. Switch to a modern day church where Kaulder’s priest and protector (Michael Caine) is murdered and a young priest (Elijah Wood, still looking like a kid) takes over. Off they go to kill witches in one of the most confusing, convoluted hour and a half ever spent at the movies.

He chases them through a bakery, where people are lined up around the block, while bakers are putting maggots in the baked goods, followed by sequences of inexplicable behaviors.

At times you can’t tell what is really happening and what is a dream caused by eating a cherry. And what’s with the kid following a trail of gummy bears?

Rated PG-13, with violence and utter confusion.