To the Editor:

Customers of the “Pay for Play” gang are hereby notified that their passes expired on November 8, 2016 when the amusement playground closed. Any disappointment may be assuaged by applying for a refund prior to dissolution of the Clinton Foundation.  

Expeditious attention is advised when filing claims. Late applicants may be disappointed as an audit, currently underway, cannot account for the whereabouts of certain assets. Claimants are also advised to use caution when filing as requests will undoubtedly attract attention. Applicants are considered a potential source of evidence.

Foreign entities, either individual or governments, should note that their origins will be cause for greater scrutiny. Attempts to remove large amounts of currency from the United States, either in cash or bank transfer is prohibited prior to the conclusion of all litigation. Both domestic and foreign participants in the Pay for Play scheme are subject to subpoena.

It is hoped that this notification will be considered fair warning regarding the perils of participating in future “Share the Wealth” schemes with government employees. In any event, what were you ever thinking or promised?  

C. Christopher Sirr

Warwick