To the Editor: It used to be an easy, pleasant ride on a Sunday morning from Coventry to Sts. Rose and Clement Church in Warwick. Not anymore. We now have to deal with the challenge of the mind-boggling rotary in Apponaug.
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To the Editor:
It used to be an easy, pleasant ride on a Sunday morning from Coventryto Sts. Rose and Clement Church in Warwick. Not anymore.
We now have to deal with the challenge of the mind-boggling rotary in Apponaug. That peaceful little town was gutted, mutilated, mangled, tortured and tormented for months only to be turned into a merry-go-round of dubious exits and ramps. It has been the cause of many accidents and rear enders. I know of one poor soul who took the wrong exit, became confused and was missing for over 12 hours until the State Police found him in Burrillville. After two unsuccessful attempts to get to the church by trying several exits, we finally had to admit defeat to the monster.
So I think it is only fitting that the engineer(s) who designed this monstrosity should get a little taste of their own medicine. When they pass on and are looking for the pearly gates to get to heaven, they are going to have to find their way on a rotary exactly like the one they designed in Apponaug. When they start out they are going to realize there are many exit ramps so close together snap decisions have to be made –
no time to ponder –can't hesitate because there is a car in back of you.
When the engineer gets on the rotary to find his way to heaven, he thinks:
“Well, this doesn't look too difficult. The very first exit says The Pearly Gates. Great. I'll take this one and be on my way. Oh, no now there is are two smaller exits that say Pearly Gates East and Pearly Gates West. Which one do I want? I'll try east. Have to make a snap decision. I guess this isn't the right one because there is a sign ahead that says Road to Nowhere. I'll have to find a place to turn around and get back on the rotary. I should have taken Pearly Gates West. Back on track and now it's the West ramp. This looks as if it is definitely going to the Pearly Gates. Oh wait, what does that sign say up ahead? Road to Judgment? No one said anything about being judged. This is a one-way so I can't turn around. I'll have to keep going until I find a place to do that. Gee, I had to travel over a mile until I could get back on the rotary. I guess I should try another exit. This one says Heaven. Ah, this must be the right one. I should have known better. On the right exit now, but wait a minute – here come two more – one says Heaven North and the other Heaven South. Oh no, another snap decision – which one? Quickly – I'll try south this time. What a long road. I guess it is if you want to get to heaven. There's a sign ahead – it says Dead End. How am I ever going to get back to that rotary? Thank God I finally found a cut-off to turn around and now I'm back on the rotary. This time I'm taking Heaven North. This is kind of a curvy road with no signs of life – there's a street sign ahead that says Purgatory Rd. I don't want to go to Purgatory. Let me get out of here fast. I can turn here and get back on the rotary. This maze of exits so close together is really getting to me, but I have to keep trying if I want to get to those Pearly Gates. There's two exits I haven't tried .One has to be the right one. This one coming up says Paradise. This could be it. Now there is a fork further on in the exit. One says Eden and the other says Paradise. I want Paradise – quick decision. There is a sign that says Progressing so that is encouraging. Something is in large letters up ahead. I can't believe it! It says Paradise Closed for the Season. I didn't know they had seasons in Paradise. Back to that friggin’ rotary and try Eden. Now I'm on Eden and it looks pretty good. There are some beautiful apple trees along the way, and I feel good about this. Up ahead there is a little bridge and there is a sign on it that says If You Cross this Bridge you will be entering Temptation and there is NO GOING BACK. Oh my God, what do I do now? I'll have to back up all the way because there is no place to turn around. There's only one more exit left to take and that better be the right one or I'm really dead. This exit has no name just a number. The number is 666. It's the only chance I have left so I might as well take it. There's a sign ahead that says Sharp Curve and Steep Hill. Boy, this hill is really steep. I'd better be cautious. I 'm driving carefully, but what does that sign say? Oh my God, it says Entering Hell- Stay to the Right. I have to get out of here in a hurry. Who wants to go to hell? I've got to get back on that rotary. I don't know what exit I can take now. I've tried them all. If I ever want to get to heaven I can't give up. I'm so weak and dizzy! I feel as though I'm doomed forever. Maybe I'll try Pearly Gates again. Who the hell ever designed this damned rotary?
June Flori
Coventry
9 comments on this item Please log in to comment by clicking here
Kammy
I honestly cannot understand why so many people don't seem to understand how rotary's work! There are signs and arrows on the pavement to help you. Go through the entire thing once and you will know which lane to be in to get to where you have to go. But I guess if you liked a one-way square with multiple (endless) lights that held up traffic on all entryways better, far be it from me to burst your bubble. A ride that used to take 10-20 minutes depending on the day now takes me 5. Why? Because I know what lane to be in, I know HOW TO YIELD, and I know the basic rules of the road. Folks they aren't going away anytime soon. Your time would be better spent learning to navigate rather than complaining.
Friday, July 28, 2017 Report this
JohnStark
It now takes a fraction of the time to get through Appanoug. The rules of a rotary are quite simple: If you're in the rotary, you have the right of way. If you're not yet in the rotary, allow others to pass. Not that hardt!!
Friday, July 28, 2017 Report this
warwick10
Ha! THE Devil AND 71 million $$$!!
Saturday, July 29, 2017 Report this
starmote
Maybe the roundabout makes the traffic situation better than it was before, but I find it very frustrating to come through Apponaug at afternoon rush hour. It's often really hard to enter the roundabout since everyone already in it is moving at a good clip. "He/She who hesitates is lost" for at least another round. No one should be forced to drive that way. I think a four-way traffic light like at Hoxsie would be better. To get from Centerville Road to West Shore Road (eventually!) I now go right at the roundabout and take a left in front of Walgreen's to avoid having to mess with the roundabout.
Kammy and John, it may be easy for some people, but reading the arrows while watching traffic and getting into the correct lane in advance can be a little confusing the first few times through. I do like the 2-way traffic better.
Anyway that was a funny story! Thanks, June!
Saturday, July 29, 2017 Report this
VoWarwick2017
A couple of things:
1 - Getting through the Appanoug is a lot easier now, during rush hour or any hour and complaining in the contrary is simply Rhode Islanders complaining about change for the sake of complaining. Prior to the rotary's it took an average of 10 - 15 minutes to get through the village. Now it takes less than 6.
2 - I go through Appanoug 7-8 times a week and I have yet to see more than 1 or 2 accidents.
3 - Starmote: trying to stand up Hoxsie as a gold standard is silly. That is the worst intersection in Warwick and one of the most dangerous in Rhode Island (DOT measures not mine). Like all change it takes time to get used to the new flow of traffic a year from now people will hardly remember the old way.
Monday, July 31, 2017 Report this
davebarry109
It's obvious the writer is elderly. If you cannot handle the rotary, you can take Rt. 113 to Post Rd or W. Shore Rd and avoid the rotaries altogether. There is no need to go through apponaug. If you wish to get to someplace South of Apponaug, you can get off the highway and take route 2 to Cowesett Rd or Division St. A little common sense is necessary to handle the rotary system. If you are too old to change, do as I instruct and avoid the rotaries altogether, making you and I feel much better.
Monday, July 31, 2017 Report this
patientman
I for one love the rotary's. People that complain should be forced to re-take their driving exam.
Tuesday, August 1, 2017 Report this
richardcorrente
Dear Patientman,
The rotary's take up an enormous amount of square footage compressing the same amount of traffic through a smaller pathway. The Warwick Police report eight times as many accidents as in the past. The taxpayers have paid $71,000,000 or so. The businesses have suffered so much that even Roger Williams Auto had to close. (they moved to West Warwick).
How is all that a good thing? Why should I, and the many other people that are against the rotary installations, be forced to re-take our driving exams? I will admit that the masonry and landscaping look nice but the function of it all seems to me to have missed the mark by a long shot. If it were me I would have put some money into dressing up what we had rather than spend a ton of taxpayers money on this.
Happy Summer Patientman.
Happy Summer everyone.
Rick Corrente
The Taxpayers Mayor
Friday, August 4, 2017 Report this
Thecaptain
Once again Rick, you are a day late and a dollar short. Where were you during this time??
http://hummelreport.org/Stories/11.12.2015.dot.html
http://hummelreport.org/Stories/6.30.2016.update.html
Friday, August 4, 2017 Report this