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If Johnny Sweat Pants goes to get tested for corona, can someone please ask his wife to wash him up and put some decent clothes on him before she takes him to the doctor's office. Between his body odor and stale cigarette breath, the technician doing the test is going to need to put on two hazmat suits and a respirator before they get within 10 feet of Beer Belly Johnny.

From: Mayor Solomon Declares State of Emergency for City of Warwick

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